Identity - a look into ourselves

Hi, welcome back. I apologize for the hiatus. Life called me to take a pause and observe. I hope y'all have been well in my absence, and I'm excited to return to sharing thoughts with you. This post dives into our identities.

How do we identify ourselves? Is it through the things we wear? The items we collect? The moods we shift between? The beliefs we hold? Values we try to live by? People, places, things we enjoy? Or through how others perceive us? I think for a majority of us we can answer yes to a few of those questions. But what is this root perception of what it means to be oneself?

When we identify ourselves, we are looking at something beyond us and attempting to place ourselves within it. Our identity is the root of what we are seeking through this reflection to better understand our place in the world. The world and all who inhabit it are a giant mirror. The point of this post is to delve into the concept of what resides inside us begging to be expressed and what the mind chooses to apply in order to retain its narrative of understanding from the world around it. What the difference between our identity and what we identify with can truly be.

Our identity is rooted in the raw, natural energy we possess as human beings. It is made up of the energy that flows through all of the universe, the chemicals that make life possible, and this conceptualization of self. This is its root; the beginning of what allows us to form an identity. We are both a part and separate from rocks, stars, plants, animals, etc., connected through different arrays of elements found on Earth. Energy pervades us all and can neither be created nor destroyed, merely transformed. The idea of a self is born from the interactive mind. One where the subconscious and conscious minds play and mingle with each other to create something that has an awareness of its own actions, thoughts, and emotions. Yet that is too simple to explain what humanity is and can be.

Anyways, identity can be anchored in the above ideas. These are its foundation and the foundation's strength depends on the acknowledgement that at the core of being human, there is something that connects us to it all.

Identity is the condition of being oneself or itself and not another. The foundation of identity being connectedness of existence allows identity to evolve from what it's like to be like another. Without the consideration to what all is then there is no baseline for the realization of identity. The realization of identity comes from the gentle expressions of our inner workings. Unfortunately, for a lot of us these have become muted. They were soft to begin with and now they're next to non-existent. Experiences shape how we hear our inner workings and whether we trust them enough to express it. The inner workings are thoughts and feelings that aren’t dowsed in fear. They appear to have a natural place within you and don’t invade your space. Listening to these inner workings can help reveal a portion of your identity. I believe these natural inklings of how to express ourselves in our lives are who we are. They’re the basis of our existence in this world.

What gets lost in translation is the how. It gets mixed with the preconceived notions of who we should be from what is outside of us. Our mind receives information from the world around it and interprets that information. Repetition of certain information creates a narrative. As we are learning to express these natural inklings, sometimes a narrative forms that subdues them. There begins an inner battle that is fueled by outside forces. Most often, given time, the outside forces become more trustworthy than the inner workings due to the repeated narrative that has squashed the whispers of identity. Though that doesn't mean they are lost, just muted. Through reconnecting with ourselves we allow these natural inklings to reveal themselves again. It's in those moments you feel joy wash over you and a blanket of peace.

I think backward identification can work as a means to begin returning to yourself. You recognize through external experiences what your mind and body like and don't like. Find out the experiences that nourish you and those that leave you feeling depleted. People can reflect you back to you too, our looking glasses. Whether it be a song, a work of art, a book, convicting words, a smile, a look in someone’s eyes, kind words, a hug, things that make them think of you, helping you in whichever way, accepting you as you are, amongst other things, it can open up your perspective to how you’re witnessed. A part of you always slips through and people see that and can appreciate it and help you express yourself more. Relationships with others are a beautiful thing. Forming identities comes from inside out though, relationships with others help provide a means of seeing yourself through someone else’s eyes. This can help negate some of the narratives formed previously. 

However, identity comes from within you. It is that spark of an idea, that feeling of immeasurable joy when engaged in an activity, that intuitive notion that you are doing what you need to be doing in that moment and it feels good. Identity is held deep within us and yearns to be let out and expressed in the world. People may hold up a mirror to you and show you parts of yourself that are naturally inclined to be the way they are without pretense, but they will never be able to tell you your identity. I spoke briefly about the concept of the heart in my post, Judgments & the Inner Critic. The heart is the purest and truest expression of who we are. The heart bears no judgment and only whispers encouragements in pursuing what it is we are meant to do, live out the expression of who we are. We all have gifts and talents; some people are very kind and loving, some are generous and giving, some are musically gifted while others are great speakers. The list goes on for every human trait you can imagine. Our gifts are innate and are designed to help foster community and connection. Our talents are the tangible expression of these gifts that allow us to act them out in real time. The heart is where these stem from and also is the center of our identity.

Yes, the heart is an organ. It keeps us alive and keeps the brain functioning with blood being circulated throughout the whole system. It possesses its own electromagnetic field. It keeps us living paired with the breath. It also is used to describe how we feel something and whether our "heart is in it". The heart plays a robust function in the experience of humanity. It has both tangible functionality and intangible yearnings of desire. It is the intangible yearnings that I am focused on with identity. It seems to me that when we align ourselves with these intangible yearnings there is a certain flow acquired between us and what surrounds us. I believe that is confirmation of the necessary expression of our hearts, and what leads us to forming the identity of who we are. It is these happenings that allow for the secret message of the inner workings to be transposed into action.

When we combine the concepts of what our mind and body like and dislike, the vision of ourselves that is reflected back to us from others, and the messages of the inner workings, an identity takes shape. We become who we are by following our hearts and allowing others to bear witness. It is a process that takes time and learning to create space for ourselves (please refer to Space - an exploration to ourselves and Space II - a feeling of trust & peace) to listen to our hearts. It is so worth it to be able to feel who you are though. 

Thank you for reading <3 

~ Jen